Business Communications Lecture Notes

LECTURE NOTES

CHAPTER 7--REVISING BUSINESS MESSAGES

EDITING YOUR MESSAGE

Three steps in the editing process;
1. Evaluate content and organization.
2. Evaluate style and readability.
3. Assess word choice.
When editing for content and organization, check the
- order of points
- mix of general and specific
- balance among points
- emphasis
- quality and quantity of evidence
- irrelevant information
- quality of introduction and conclusion
When editing for style and readability, check the
- tone
- interest level
- clarity and readability
Fog Index: readability formula based on sentence length and word length.
Other aspects of readability:
- sentence structure
- order and flow of ideas
- paragraph construction
- transitions
- appearance of text
Two goals when assessing word choice: correct usage and effective style.
Plain English is a way of writing so that your audience can understand your meaning.
the focus on plain-english laws has resulted in clearer contracts, credit application forms, and insurance policies.
Two types of words:
- functional words (conjunctions, prepositions, articles, pronouns) and
- content words (nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs)
Functional words:
- express relationships.
- have one fixed meaning.
Content words:
- carry meaning of sentence.
- are subject to many interpretations.
- vary in degree of abstraction
Denotative meaning is the literal, dictionary meaning; connotative meaning consists of the associations and feelings evoked by the word.
Concrete terms:
- anchored in the tangible, material world (for example, chair, table, horse.
- Vivid, clear, exact.
Abstract terms:
- Concepts, qualities, characteristics.
- Necessary part of sophisticated communication.
- Sometimes ambiguous or boring.
Tricks of the wordsmith's trade:
- Use strong words such as verbs and nouns, and use specific terms (pioneer, not person who led the way to new territory).
- Use familiar words and the vocabulary of the audience (earth, not terrestrial sphere); avoid cliches (on a roll, cutting edge, alternative lifestyle).
- Rely on short words (making money, not revenue generation).
- Avoid changing verbs into nouns and adjectives with such endings as -ion, -ment, -ency (Winners will be notified by December 15, not Notification of winners will occur by December 15).
The goal of bias-free language is to avoid appearing insensitive.
To avoid gender-biased language:
- Don't use man in the broad sense of mankind (workforce, not manpower; synthetic, not man-made, business person, not businessman.
- Avoid female-gender words (author, not authoress.
- Don't use he to refer to both males and females (The average worker. . . he or she, not The average worker. . . he.
- Avoid ascribing gender to certain roles (not all nurses are women, not all bosses are men).
To avoid racial and ethnic bias:
- Eliminate references to stereotypes (poor ghetto black.
- Eliminate racial/cultural labels (Harry Golberg, Jewish lawyer).
Eliminate age references unless relevant (John Marston, not John Marston, a spry octogenarian).
Downplay references to disabilities; avoid reference entirely; avoid words such as handicapped, crippled, or retarded; emphasize the person rather than the disability.

REWRITING YOUR MESSAGES

Sentence: chain of words that expresses a complete thought; includes a subject (noun or noun equivalent) and predicate (verb or verb phrase).
Three types of sentences:
- Simple: has a single subject and a single predicate (Profits have increased); may have object and modifiers.
- Compound: expresses two or more independent but related thoughts of equal importance, joined by and, but, or or (Wage rates have declined, and turnover has been high).
- complex sentence: expresses one main thought (independent clause) and one or more subordinate thoughts (dependent clauses) (Although the sales force is strong, the business depends heavily on advertising to reach consumers).
Use a mix of sentence types for variety; select the type that best fits the thought.
Match sentence style to the audience and the subject.
Keep sentences short--20 words on average--but vary length to make writing interesting.
Keep verbs in active voice (subject before verb), but use passive voice to soften criticism (The shipment was lost, not You lost the shipment).
Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases, such as
- Legalistic language (on the occasion of).
- Redundancy (visible to the eye).
- Unnecessary relative pronouns (who, that, which).
- Excessive articles (usually the).
- Needless repetition of words.
- Double modifiers (modern, up-to-date equipment).
Avoid obsolete or pompous language, including big words, trite phrases, and elaborate sentences (I will fill the order when I receive more supplies, not Upon procurement of additional supplies, I will initiate fulfillment of the order).
Avoid gushy, overblown terms (extremely, exceptionally, deeply, importantly).
Divide long, strung-out sentences into two or three shorter sentences.
Avoid hedging words such as seems or may.
Watch out for indefinite pronoun starters such as it and there (Five new employees start today, not There are five new employees who start today).
Express parallel ideas in parallel form (He came, he saw, he conquered).
Eliminate awkward pointers, even if they save a few words; readers are confused by terms such as respectively, the former, the latter.
Correct dangling modifiers (Working as fast as possible, the committee completed the budget, not Working as fast as possible, the budget was soon completed.
Avoid long noun sequences by putting some of the nouns in modifying phrases (The committee on reducing paperwork will complete its report on Friday, not The paperwork reduction committee will complete its report on Friday).
Keep words together that work together; too many intervening modifiers are confusing (instead of writing We will mark down the refrigerator that you ordered last week this Friday, write This Friday, we will mark down the refrigerator that you ordered last week.
Emphasize key thoughts:
- Give the most space to the most important thoughts.
- Put key thoughts in power positions: the beginning and end of the sentence.
- Make the key thought the subject of the sentence.
Paragraph: a series of sentences related to a single thought.
Paragraphs are indicated
- in oral communication with pauses and inflections.
- in written communication with typographical devices.
Three basic elements of the paragraph:
1. topic sentence,
2. related sentences,
3. transitional elements.
Topic sentence: summary of main idea; usually comes first.
Because related sentences explain the main idea, they must
- all pertain to the main idea.
- be more specific than the topic sentence.
Transitional elements link sentences and paragraphs, and they establish the relationships among ideas. Transitional elements may take several forms:
- Using connecting words and phrases (and, however, in addition)
- Repeating words or phrases from previous paragraph or sentence (The system should . . .In reviewing the system. . .)
- Using a pronoun that refers to the antecedent (Ms. Arthur. . .She has . . .)
- Using frequently paired words (minimum, maximum).
Of the five ways to develop a paragraph, the one that is used should reflect the topic, audience, and purpose of the message:
- Illustration: examples that demonstrate the general idea.
- Comparison or contrast: similarities or differences among thought.
- Cause and effect: reasons for something.
- Classification: division of idea into subcategories.
- Problem and solution: what's wrong and how to fix it.

PRODUCING YOUR MESSAGE

Design elements (such as white space, margins, headings, typefaces, and type styles) provide visual clues to the importance of various ideas and their relationships.
Design decisions demand attention to
- consistency
- balance
- restraint
- detail

PROOFING YOUR MESSAGE

Proofing messages for mechanics and format ensures a professional appearance.
Grammar and spell checkers are useful tools as long as writers don't rely on them too heavily.